I'm so sorry mate. I have misophonia and my neighbors (connected row houses) are doing construction for the next year. I work from home. Noise cancelling headphones are the difference between me being a raging maniac in the process of losing my job and being... fine.
Ah, I wasn't familiar with the term "misophonia"! It's fascinating that so many people seem to have issues like this, yet the world seems to be getting louder all the time. I'm actually convinced that for someone who's sufficiently noise sensitive, it's a real health issue, in that noise could cause enough stress to raise your blood pressure and cause downstream physical problems.
Anecdotally, noise sensitivity 100% causes me physical problems. I get tension headaches and clench my jaw if there's too much noise, and that aggravates my temporomandibular joint problems. Conceivably I could probably CBT my way out of the muscle tension, and it's not so severe as high blood pressure, but it's bad enough that it's probably caused multiple doctor visits.
I went down a rabbit hole a few years ago and yes, there is research showing that noise pollution does cause stress, even maybe contributing to things like marital problems and yes health problems, even for those who are not especially sensitive to it.
Common misophonia triggers include things like 'chewing food' and 'snoring' so unfortunately I don't think most people with the condition would find total relief in a 'quieter' world. However, I do think you might find the mechanism at play in the misophonic brain fascintating. I'm not good at reading really dense science texts but I think I share a similar perspective on misophonia as these guys: https://royalsocietypublishing.org/doi/full/10.1098/rstb.2016.0007#d1e600
Aka, I think that poor predictive processing is involved in the development of misophonia, which would explain both why misophonia sufferer's trigger sounds are almost always repetitive & irregular and why it is sometimes comorbid with other sensory problems.
Interesting stuff. I'm a Certified Professional Hypnotist and have not tested my theory, but I theorize that misophonia could be potentially reversed with hypnotic conditioning, similar to removing a phobia of dogs or any other needless fear or anxiety where the body's threat detection system goes haywire. There is a clinic in Colorado that specifically works with misophonia, although I have no idea what kinds of specific methods they use.
I don't know, I think some people just have much more sensitive hearing. I had severe misophonia problems as a child. Like I would sit in class raging and ready to commit murder because the kid next to me was a sniffles, could not tolerate chewing noises, and spent many sleepless nights at sleepovers or locking myself in a bathroom trying to sleep in a tub to escape snoring.
As an adult, many of these problems went away bc my hearing is just much worse now. I don't think I hear all the little noises anymore. I don't hear well enough to watch TV without subtitles. Though I still need white noise at all times, and certainly to sleep.
Many of my other sensory issues as a child...food revulsion that would cause gagging, intense sensitivity to smells...went away around my 30s because my senses are just duller now.
I had the best luck with the bose "quiet comfort" headphones. They're pretty light (so much that it's a little disturbing given the cost) and don't seem to create as much pressure as others. The conventional wisdom seems to be that you get the best noise canceling with either these or something from the sony "XM" line (XM3/XM4/XM5). I found the bose to be a bit better, but many people report the opposite, and for all I know it depends on the shape of your head!
To elaborate on Bose vs Sony, the main difference as of a year ago was that Bose's noise cancelling was more aggressive than Sony. Bose cancels more noise, but it makes me (and rare others) quickly feel very claustrophobic and anxious. Sony cancels less noise, but doesn't produce that feeling. Sonys also seem to have more convenience modes for, eg, canceling everything but voices, or quickly letting sound through without having to take off the headphones. These modes are okay, but not worth money to me. I'd rather just take off the headphones. I'm moderately happy with my Sonys (just wish the mic was better).
Bose is also known for having a distorted and bassy frequency response. However, for non-audiophiles whose main goal is "I want something that cancels out sounds and maybe sometimes acts as headphones too", I expect this to make zero difference in preference.
For people with Tinnitus these are actually God-sent: Not only can they cancel sound; they can also ADD sound - a tinnitus annulling sound - on top of everything! Voila! Less unpleasant sound and less tinnitus for the 10th of what regular hearing aids doing the same cost!
I have the XM4 and like the sound and ANC better than the QC35, though the comfort is a notch down (but only one... it's still wearable for hours). I decided against the XM5 since I had heard mixed reviews about comfort.
A great, relatable example from a fellow overthinker. Sometimes the obvious choice is the best one. A similar story: for years I was struggling with daytime sleepiness. I tried all the things: melatonin, bright sunlight in the morning, blue-light-blocking glasses at night, blackout curtains, etc. I even tried a stint of Modafinil.
The ultimate solution? More hours in bed. I looked over my historical Fitbit sleep data and I used to get 1-1.5 hours more sleep consistently every night. So now I aim for 9 hours in bed and don't have nearly as much daytime sleepiness.
Ha. I have this theory that "lifehacks" are sometimes ways of rephrasing obvious advice for people with similar tendencies. "Want to be more attractive? Try putting more effort into grooming!" "Trouble with hunger? Try eating food!"
(That's one of the more convincing examples of how fitbit-type tracking can be useful, too.)
I once asked a self-proclaimed "biohacker" who had an RFID chip implanted in his hand what his #1 biohacking tip was. He said, "when you get up in the morning, drink a big glass of water." I thought it was going to be something about VR or red light therapy or something LOL.
I struggle with this to an incredible degree. I've tried all of that and much more, and am currently going down the sleep apnea rabbithole even though I only supposedly have a "mild" case. It sucks going through the cycles of thinking-you-know-it-all-and-maybe-even-some-more-than-those-supposedly-qualified just to fail and realize you're just silly. Any tips to "sleep more" despite seemingly not being able to, I'd love to hear. Also considering modafinil at this point too tbh.
Moda did give me lots of energy, but I didn't like my jaw getting really tight and the subsequent headache, and I was doing 1/2 to 1/4 of a pill. Sleep apnea might be part of it. Another thing nobody talks about is just straight-up depression. I even notice I *instantly* get sleepy when I have a task to do that I'm dreading, or if for whatever reason I slip into a low self-esteem state. Taking many mid-day naps has been helpful for me too. Good luck with your troubleshooting, it can be super annoying, so I feel you.
Here's another theory I just came up with today, so warning, it might be a crackpot theory.
Cognitively-demanding tasks allegedly deplete adenosine, creating both mental fatigue and lowering endurance performance in exercise. The theoretical mechanism for lowered endurance performance is that lowered adenosine decreases basically your motivation to work hard. It's not that you can't, it's just that you don't want to.
Adenosine levels rise during wakefulness and lower during sleep. How caffeine works is to fit into the adenosine receptors, which keeps more circulating adenosine in your system, thus promoting wakefulness.
So my new theory: I think too much/hard, which makes me tired, due to depleting my adenosine levels.
This brings up a question I've always wondered about, which is how much tolerance do you ultimately get with caffeine? That is, if you drink 1 cup of coffee every day for the rest of your life, do you still have even slightly more energy than you would otherwise without coffee?
Similarly, if cognitively demanding tasks did deplete adenosine, should we expect that if you keep doing cognitively demanding tasks, will your body upregulate adenosine production (or receptors)?
Excellent questions. I feel like I don't necessarily use my brain for super cognitively-demanding tasks most of the time, if anything that would probably help. It's more like my brain is constantly in motion. To use an analogy, someone who exercises in an intelligent way 5 days a week for 30-45 minutes gets really fit, versus someone in an Amazon warehouse doing 12 hour shifts without pee breaks. I think I run my brain more like the Amazon worker than the exerciser.
I'm exactly the type of person to suffer through something like this. I also just love the idea of making a different/weird decision and grabbing some benefit that other people just won't see. One example of this was stubbornly sticking to Linux-based desktops as a main OS for many years before realizing that the main computer OSes are simply way more polished, functional, compatible, productive, usable, stable, everything. I think I'd still rather have the trait than not though.
There's another general rule of "when starting a new sport or instrument, use the cheapest (or borrowed) equipment to figure out if you might like it".
Noise drives me nuts, esp since I have wall (ptac) ac units and have to run them 24/7.
I pretty much live in a combination of noise canceling headphones and ear plugs. Hearos purple slim ear plugs, the silicone ones are more comfortable, but don't block as much noise.
Earmuffs: was it the clamping pressure that was hurting you, or your ears being jammed into the earmuffs? 3m has gel foam available for some of their ear muffs that makes it significantly more comfortable.
I've owned the top of the line Sony, Bose, and airpod over the ear headsets. Surprisingly, a pair of stupidly cheap tozo nc9s (in ear) beat the top of the line Sony for blocking ac noise.
As you discovered just getting noise blocking caulk won't do very much, but if you use it in combination with other stuff it can be pretty useful. This is more appropriate if you own your own place, or a building then you can put in a bunch of mass loaded vinyl in your walls.
If you're dealing with rattling noises, butyl rubber based dampening products work wonders.
Oh and for headsets / and earmuffs you can often adjust the clamp pressure.
The absolute worst is if you're dealing with low frequency vibrations "noises", because those get transmitted through everything and are practically impossible to stop
Sad story. I too have very sensitive ears ( not for sound) for any kind of earmuffs, headphones, aviation headphones. Yes, an hour brings pain. Glad you found a solution finally.
Sadly true for many. Glad you triumphed. You also show a deal of mastery of the amusing essay form imho.
I'm so sorry mate. I have misophonia and my neighbors (connected row houses) are doing construction for the next year. I work from home. Noise cancelling headphones are the difference between me being a raging maniac in the process of losing my job and being... fine.
Ah, I wasn't familiar with the term "misophonia"! It's fascinating that so many people seem to have issues like this, yet the world seems to be getting louder all the time. I'm actually convinced that for someone who's sufficiently noise sensitive, it's a real health issue, in that noise could cause enough stress to raise your blood pressure and cause downstream physical problems.
Anecdotally, noise sensitivity 100% causes me physical problems. I get tension headaches and clench my jaw if there's too much noise, and that aggravates my temporomandibular joint problems. Conceivably I could probably CBT my way out of the muscle tension, and it's not so severe as high blood pressure, but it's bad enough that it's probably caused multiple doctor visits.
I went down a rabbit hole a few years ago and yes, there is research showing that noise pollution does cause stress, even maybe contributing to things like marital problems and yes health problems, even for those who are not especially sensitive to it.
Common misophonia triggers include things like 'chewing food' and 'snoring' so unfortunately I don't think most people with the condition would find total relief in a 'quieter' world. However, I do think you might find the mechanism at play in the misophonic brain fascintating. I'm not good at reading really dense science texts but I think I share a similar perspective on misophonia as these guys: https://royalsocietypublishing.org/doi/full/10.1098/rstb.2016.0007#d1e600
Aka, I think that poor predictive processing is involved in the development of misophonia, which would explain both why misophonia sufferer's trigger sounds are almost always repetitive & irregular and why it is sometimes comorbid with other sensory problems.
Interesting stuff. I'm a Certified Professional Hypnotist and have not tested my theory, but I theorize that misophonia could be potentially reversed with hypnotic conditioning, similar to removing a phobia of dogs or any other needless fear or anxiety where the body's threat detection system goes haywire. There is a clinic in Colorado that specifically works with misophonia, although I have no idea what kinds of specific methods they use.
I don't know, I think some people just have much more sensitive hearing. I had severe misophonia problems as a child. Like I would sit in class raging and ready to commit murder because the kid next to me was a sniffles, could not tolerate chewing noises, and spent many sleepless nights at sleepovers or locking myself in a bathroom trying to sleep in a tub to escape snoring.
As an adult, many of these problems went away bc my hearing is just much worse now. I don't think I hear all the little noises anymore. I don't hear well enough to watch TV without subtitles. Though I still need white noise at all times, and certainly to sleep.
Many of my other sensory issues as a child...food revulsion that would cause gagging, intense sensitivity to smells...went away around my 30s because my senses are just duller now.
So, which ones are the obviously best noise-canceling headphones?
I am pretty sensitive to office noise, so I tried getting a pair of headphones, but they were much too heavy and gave me a headache.
I had the best luck with the bose "quiet comfort" headphones. They're pretty light (so much that it's a little disturbing given the cost) and don't seem to create as much pressure as others. The conventional wisdom seems to be that you get the best noise canceling with either these or something from the sony "XM" line (XM3/XM4/XM5). I found the bose to be a bit better, but many people report the opposite, and for all I know it depends on the shape of your head!
To elaborate on Bose vs Sony, the main difference as of a year ago was that Bose's noise cancelling was more aggressive than Sony. Bose cancels more noise, but it makes me (and rare others) quickly feel very claustrophobic and anxious. Sony cancels less noise, but doesn't produce that feeling. Sonys also seem to have more convenience modes for, eg, canceling everything but voices, or quickly letting sound through without having to take off the headphones. These modes are okay, but not worth money to me. I'd rather just take off the headphones. I'm moderately happy with my Sonys (just wish the mic was better).
Bose is also known for having a distorted and bassy frequency response. However, for non-audiophiles whose main goal is "I want something that cancels out sounds and maybe sometimes acts as headphones too", I expect this to make zero difference in preference.
I was sure you were going to say Apple AirPod Pros
For people with Tinnitus these are actually God-sent: Not only can they cancel sound; they can also ADD sound - a tinnitus annulling sound - on top of everything! Voila! Less unpleasant sound and less tinnitus for the 10th of what regular hearing aids doing the same cost!
I have the XM4 and like the sound and ANC better than the QC35, though the comfort is a notch down (but only one... it's still wearable for hours). I decided against the XM5 since I had heard mixed reviews about comfort.
Haven't tried the AirPods Max.
A great, relatable example from a fellow overthinker. Sometimes the obvious choice is the best one. A similar story: for years I was struggling with daytime sleepiness. I tried all the things: melatonin, bright sunlight in the morning, blue-light-blocking glasses at night, blackout curtains, etc. I even tried a stint of Modafinil.
The ultimate solution? More hours in bed. I looked over my historical Fitbit sleep data and I used to get 1-1.5 hours more sleep consistently every night. So now I aim for 9 hours in bed and don't have nearly as much daytime sleepiness.
Ha. I have this theory that "lifehacks" are sometimes ways of rephrasing obvious advice for people with similar tendencies. "Want to be more attractive? Try putting more effort into grooming!" "Trouble with hunger? Try eating food!"
(That's one of the more convincing examples of how fitbit-type tracking can be useful, too.)
I once asked a self-proclaimed "biohacker" who had an RFID chip implanted in his hand what his #1 biohacking tip was. He said, "when you get up in the morning, drink a big glass of water." I thought it was going to be something about VR or red light therapy or something LOL.
I struggle with this to an incredible degree. I've tried all of that and much more, and am currently going down the sleep apnea rabbithole even though I only supposedly have a "mild" case. It sucks going through the cycles of thinking-you-know-it-all-and-maybe-even-some-more-than-those-supposedly-qualified just to fail and realize you're just silly. Any tips to "sleep more" despite seemingly not being able to, I'd love to hear. Also considering modafinil at this point too tbh.
Moda did give me lots of energy, but I didn't like my jaw getting really tight and the subsequent headache, and I was doing 1/2 to 1/4 of a pill. Sleep apnea might be part of it. Another thing nobody talks about is just straight-up depression. I even notice I *instantly* get sleepy when I have a task to do that I'm dreading, or if for whatever reason I slip into a low self-esteem state. Taking many mid-day naps has been helpful for me too. Good luck with your troubleshooting, it can be super annoying, so I feel you.
Here's another theory I just came up with today, so warning, it might be a crackpot theory.
Cognitively-demanding tasks allegedly deplete adenosine, creating both mental fatigue and lowering endurance performance in exercise. The theoretical mechanism for lowered endurance performance is that lowered adenosine decreases basically your motivation to work hard. It's not that you can't, it's just that you don't want to.
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/325862570_Mental_Fatigue_Impairs_Endurance_Performance_A_Physiological_Explanation
Adenosine levels rise during wakefulness and lower during sleep. How caffeine works is to fit into the adenosine receptors, which keeps more circulating adenosine in your system, thus promoting wakefulness.
So my new theory: I think too much/hard, which makes me tired, due to depleting my adenosine levels.
This brings up a question I've always wondered about, which is how much tolerance do you ultimately get with caffeine? That is, if you drink 1 cup of coffee every day for the rest of your life, do you still have even slightly more energy than you would otherwise without coffee?
Similarly, if cognitively demanding tasks did deplete adenosine, should we expect that if you keep doing cognitively demanding tasks, will your body upregulate adenosine production (or receptors)?
Excellent questions. I feel like I don't necessarily use my brain for super cognitively-demanding tasks most of the time, if anything that would probably help. It's more like my brain is constantly in motion. To use an analogy, someone who exercises in an intelligent way 5 days a week for 30-45 minutes gets really fit, versus someone in an Amazon warehouse doing 12 hour shifts without pee breaks. I think I run my brain more like the Amazon worker than the exerciser.
I'm glad you were able to work out the problem, even if it took a while
I'm exactly the type of person to suffer through something like this. I also just love the idea of making a different/weird decision and grabbing some benefit that other people just won't see. One example of this was stubbornly sticking to Linux-based desktops as a main OS for many years before realizing that the main computer OSes are simply way more polished, functional, compatible, productive, usable, stable, everything. I think I'd still rather have the trait than not though.
What is the brand of noise canceling that worked?
For me, bose quiet comfort. (But some others prefer the sony XM line and whatever the apple over-the-ear headphones are called)
I came around to similar headphone solution when we bought a cabin retreat right next to a shooting range 🤦♀️
There's another general rule of "when starting a new sport or instrument, use the cheapest (or borrowed) equipment to figure out if you might like it".
The way you're overthinking the solution sounds very familiar. Great Story!
PS. Your "proudly blogged" link goes to the wrong shorts collection (2 instead of 3).
Thank you, fixed!
Noise drives me nuts, esp since I have wall (ptac) ac units and have to run them 24/7.
I pretty much live in a combination of noise canceling headphones and ear plugs. Hearos purple slim ear plugs, the silicone ones are more comfortable, but don't block as much noise.
Earmuffs: was it the clamping pressure that was hurting you, or your ears being jammed into the earmuffs? 3m has gel foam available for some of their ear muffs that makes it significantly more comfortable.
I've owned the top of the line Sony, Bose, and airpod over the ear headsets. Surprisingly, a pair of stupidly cheap tozo nc9s (in ear) beat the top of the line Sony for blocking ac noise.
As you discovered just getting noise blocking caulk won't do very much, but if you use it in combination with other stuff it can be pretty useful. This is more appropriate if you own your own place, or a building then you can put in a bunch of mass loaded vinyl in your walls.
If you're dealing with rattling noises, butyl rubber based dampening products work wonders.
Oh and for headsets / and earmuffs you can often adjust the clamp pressure.
The absolute worst is if you're dealing with low frequency vibrations "noises", because those get transmitted through everything and are practically impossible to stop
*wincing internally*
Haven't you ever heard of tweezers?
Sad story. I too have very sensitive ears ( not for sound) for any kind of earmuffs, headphones, aviation headphones. Yes, an hour brings pain. Glad you found a solution finally.
Did you still end up moving?
Also, did you ever talk to your neighbors about this? :)
Moving: Yes, and it was beautiful
Talk to neighbors: Also yes and it was a catastrophe, enough that I call into question my advice in https://dynomight.net/humans/
https://www.gk-music.com/product/ultraphones/
I have done this exact thing and with trying to block out neighbor sounds. At this point, I carry Loop earplugs everywhere I go.