A nice thing about flying is that I am disconnected from the Internet and can read without feeling guilty that I should be doing something else. (I pretend airplane WiFi doesn’t exist.)
It’s the day before travel that’s stressful since I feel like I am forgetting something important that needs to be done before the trip. What am I forgetting?
Is subscribing to ideas of coolness an actual attempt to be cool (e.g. for/to others) or just some kind of internal compass?
I have this contrarian nature, so even though I already try to like things that I don't like, when I read about it or self examine myself doing it, it makes me feel like I am stuck on the self-help hamster wheel and need to find a way off.
I enjoy both airline rides and visiting the dentist. Each is a space where nobody can demand much from you. You can zone out for most of it, daydream without guilt because at the end of the experience you’ll be in a better state than when you started. And all you have to do is sit in a chair for a little while! :)
Victor Frankl in "Mans Search for Meaning" quoted Dostoevsky as saying "There is only one thing that I dread: not to be worthy of my sufferings," then wrote:
“These words frequently came to my mind after I became acquainted with those martyrs whose behavior in [the concentration] camp, whose suffering and death, bore witness to the fact that the last inner freedom cannot be lost. It can be said that they were worthy of their sufferings; the way they bore their suffering was a genuine inner achievement. It is this spiritual freedom—which cannot be taken away—that makes life meaningful and purposeful.”
How I came to like country music: It started with me listening to American Recordings by Johny Cash. That's not country. It's songs I know and like, just interpreted by Cash. And all too often, they are better than the originals. So I came to really like Cash. And, by the way, there actually are few country songs in the album. I listened to them while listening to the album and they are actually quite good. Hm, so maybe I should listen to more Johny Cash stuff... And wait, this other stuff is not so bad either... And so further and so on.
I am one of those people who systematically dislikes anything that is 'popular' or 'on trend'. That leaves me plenty of scope here...where to begin? BTW, Country music is like any other genre, or even artist - you can absolutely love a couple of their songs but hate the rest.
Like point 2, when I was a teenager and sometimes had to walk the dog in the freezing cold and hated it, I could tell myself "I'm exploring the arctic! I'm an intrepid adventurer!" and it would turn my mood around at least long enough to go around the block.
I've also found that with some vegetables I dislike, it makes a big difference to prepare it myself. Something about the process of doing the cooking, and seeing it transform from one state to the other makes it more appealing, and less of a gross mystery. (Plus of course I can make sure it's not overcooked, and there's probably an element of wanting my effort to pay off). Doesn't work with everything though--I tried making broccoli rabe this week and had to throw most of it out because it was so bitter.
The last bit about one's reaction to a situation, which one can control, as the actual source of suffering as opposed to the situation itself, which one often can't control, is a core stoicism thing. I would say it also has links to buddhism.
Whatever the case, I think it's true and I wish I realized it earlier.
My gf "didn't like anime". Then I got her into the first couple episodes of Monster (like The Fugitive), she got hooked and watched without me. Don't like spinach, try quiche, or crispy deep fried spinach. But what if the object of your dislike has behavior? I've tried and failed to like chihuahuas and bulldogs.
>I’ve successfully made myself like (or less dislike) Ezra Klein,
Sorry. I laughed out loud at that.
For country music, I always hated it because the kids who bullied me loved country music. In my little little shade kicking cow town. But Lyle Lovett is a brilliant artist. Funny, moving, brilliant storyteller, has done everything from country to big band. Really great.
And flying is a miracle. I say this as a former aerospace engineer, but walk into a room, and then get out in an entirely new area. Even a new continent. Amazing.
Well... At some point years ago (for reasons I no longer remember) I decided that Ezra Klein was bad and "midwit" and therefore avoided all Ezra Klein content. I think I also decided that his voice is annoying? Then I saw his recent book in the library a few months ago and read (some) of it and it was fine.
"Well, as a child, I was subjected to some misguided Klein-related parental interventions. (“You cannot leave this table until you’ve finished this extremely small portion of a Vox explainer video!”, etc.)"
This, also, for disco, yoga, non-spicy food, Pearl Jam, and Studio Ghibli movies...
On the hiking in mountains in Japan and being offered spinach example: sometimes I suffer from choice paralysis when browsing Netflix. To combat the problem, I ask myself, "If this were the 90s and I stumbled upon this movie on cable, would I be happy I found it?" If the answer is "yes," I'll click play.
DId you know "A Boy Named Sue" was written by Shel Silverstein?
Have you tried liking various sub-genres of country music? Hank Williams sounds a lot different than Charlie Pride sounds a lot different than Garth Brooks.
Here is the perfect Country and Western song (you know it's the perfect Country and Western song because he says it is near the end): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s4pZFsEdP3Y
I very much "sit back and relax" on a plane because once I'm on board my stress levels drop since I know I can no longer miss my flight.
Most TV is absolute and complete dogshit, you can stop torturing yourself about that one. The exceptions are truly notable. The nice thing though is that even though there is more dogshit than ever before, that means that even if proportionally the number of good shows is on decline, the absolute amount of good (and even great) content continue to increase.
Musical preferences are NOT entirely culturally constructed. I grew up in Latin America, which by both genetic heritage and cultural exposure should mean I love salsa. I FUCKING HATE SALSA. And don't get me started with Colombian "vallenatos" which aught to be legally punished by immediate public execution. I don't hate country music quite as much, but the drawling accent and the subject matter are usually repellent (I genuinely like some bluegrass). I like Johnny Cash too (possibly because I was first exposed to his style through his cover of Trent Reznor's "Hurt", so my brain can connect "Live from Fulsom Prison" directly back to that) so I guess I'm a bit of a hypocrite or akratic about this.
Ezra Klein was also an acquired taste for me (but now I do genuinely enjoy his podcast). Hilarious observation.
Flying (usually) sucks. Airports, crying babies with undeveloped eustachian tubes, the constant reminder of mortality with every shake shake, the subpar food, the cramped seats, the smells that sometimes seep from the lavatory, etc. Never travel in first class, it will make the peasant experience virtually intolerable. Occasionally, I will experience a nice flight on coach because the seat next to mine is empty, the person in front doesn't use the recliner, the cabin is devoid of babies, the lavatory is far, and the pilot isn't in such a hurry to his next scheduled extramarital affair that he flies the airframe through a tumble dry cycle. This has become an exceedingly rare and beloved occurrence.
The best things I have ever acquired a taste for through dedicated effort are:
- running
- diet coke
- oatmeal (I never hated it, but now I can actually enjoy it)
This reminds me of the core idea of several philosophical and spiritual traditions. If I were to sum it up, it's "your experience depends at least partially on your state of mind, and you can change your state of mind to control your experience."
That may be overly reductionist, and there are clearly many, many ways to approach it. I wonder how much of the appeal of most religions and meditation practices lies in their practical framework for changing one's perspective on and enjoyment of things. For example, to enjoy the process of slowly starving to death while meditating in a Japanese monastery.
A nice thing about flying is that I am disconnected from the Internet and can read without feeling guilty that I should be doing something else. (I pretend airplane WiFi doesn’t exist.)
It’s the day before travel that’s stressful since I feel like I am forgetting something important that needs to be done before the trip. What am I forgetting?
Is subscribing to ideas of coolness an actual attempt to be cool (e.g. for/to others) or just some kind of internal compass?
I have this contrarian nature, so even though I already try to like things that I don't like, when I read about it or self examine myself doing it, it makes me feel like I am stuck on the self-help hamster wheel and need to find a way off.
I now see you pretty much addressed the coolness question in a discussion with Roboton.
I enjoy both airline rides and visiting the dentist. Each is a space where nobody can demand much from you. You can zone out for most of it, daydream without guilt because at the end of the experience you’ll be in a better state than when you started. And all you have to do is sit in a chair for a little while! :)
Victor Frankl in "Mans Search for Meaning" quoted Dostoevsky as saying "There is only one thing that I dread: not to be worthy of my sufferings," then wrote:
“These words frequently came to my mind after I became acquainted with those martyrs whose behavior in [the concentration] camp, whose suffering and death, bore witness to the fact that the last inner freedom cannot be lost. It can be said that they were worthy of their sufferings; the way they bore their suffering was a genuine inner achievement. It is this spiritual freedom—which cannot be taken away—that makes life meaningful and purposeful.”
Sit back and enjoy your flight.
How I came to like country music: It started with me listening to American Recordings by Johny Cash. That's not country. It's songs I know and like, just interpreted by Cash. And all too often, they are better than the originals. So I came to really like Cash. And, by the way, there actually are few country songs in the album. I listened to them while listening to the album and they are actually quite good. Hm, so maybe I should listen to more Johny Cash stuff... And wait, this other stuff is not so bad either... And so further and so on.
I am one of those people who systematically dislikes anything that is 'popular' or 'on trend'. That leaves me plenty of scope here...where to begin? BTW, Country music is like any other genre, or even artist - you can absolutely love a couple of their songs but hate the rest.
Me too. Even reading advice like this which I already do makes me want to stop doing it.
Like point 2, when I was a teenager and sometimes had to walk the dog in the freezing cold and hated it, I could tell myself "I'm exploring the arctic! I'm an intrepid adventurer!" and it would turn my mood around at least long enough to go around the block.
I've also found that with some vegetables I dislike, it makes a big difference to prepare it myself. Something about the process of doing the cooking, and seeing it transform from one state to the other makes it more appealing, and less of a gross mystery. (Plus of course I can make sure it's not overcooked, and there's probably an element of wanting my effort to pay off). Doesn't work with everything though--I tried making broccoli rabe this week and had to throw most of it out because it was so bitter.
The last bit about one's reaction to a situation, which one can control, as the actual source of suffering as opposed to the situation itself, which one often can't control, is a core stoicism thing. I would say it also has links to buddhism.
Whatever the case, I think it's true and I wish I realized it earlier.
Also, Jolene
I am one of that crazy minority: I do enjoy both flights and going to the dentist.
Same! I wonder how rare this really is. What are you like generally? I'm pretty high on Openness and positive affectivity, maybe those are factors.
My gf "didn't like anime". Then I got her into the first couple episodes of Monster (like The Fugitive), she got hooked and watched without me. Don't like spinach, try quiche, or crispy deep fried spinach. But what if the object of your dislike has behavior? I've tried and failed to like chihuahuas and bulldogs.
>I’ve successfully made myself like (or less dislike) Ezra Klein,
Sorry. I laughed out loud at that.
For country music, I always hated it because the kids who bullied me loved country music. In my little little shade kicking cow town. But Lyle Lovett is a brilliant artist. Funny, moving, brilliant storyteller, has done everything from country to big band. Really great.
And flying is a miracle. I say this as a former aerospace engineer, but walk into a room, and then get out in an entirely new area. Even a new continent. Amazing.
Great read, though I have to ask, what beef did you originally have with Ezra Klein? 😂 😂
Well... At some point years ago (for reasons I no longer remember) I decided that Ezra Klein was bad and "midwit" and therefore avoided all Ezra Klein content. I think I also decided that his voice is annoying? Then I saw his recent book in the library a few months ago and read (some) of it and it was fine.
My imagination clears up your faulty memory:
"Well, as a child, I was subjected to some misguided Klein-related parental interventions. (“You cannot leave this table until you’ve finished this extremely small portion of a Vox explainer video!”, etc.)"
This, also, for disco, yoga, non-spicy food, Pearl Jam, and Studio Ghibli movies...
My random thoughts...
On the hiking in mountains in Japan and being offered spinach example: sometimes I suffer from choice paralysis when browsing Netflix. To combat the problem, I ask myself, "If this were the 90s and I stumbled upon this movie on cable, would I be happy I found it?" If the answer is "yes," I'll click play.
DId you know "A Boy Named Sue" was written by Shel Silverstein?
Have you tried liking various sub-genres of country music? Hank Williams sounds a lot different than Charlie Pride sounds a lot different than Garth Brooks.
Here is the perfect Country and Western song (you know it's the perfect Country and Western song because he says it is near the end): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s4pZFsEdP3Y
I very much "sit back and relax" on a plane because once I'm on board my stress levels drop since I know I can no longer miss my flight.
Most TV is absolute and complete dogshit, you can stop torturing yourself about that one. The exceptions are truly notable. The nice thing though is that even though there is more dogshit than ever before, that means that even if proportionally the number of good shows is on decline, the absolute amount of good (and even great) content continue to increase.
Musical preferences are NOT entirely culturally constructed. I grew up in Latin America, which by both genetic heritage and cultural exposure should mean I love salsa. I FUCKING HATE SALSA. And don't get me started with Colombian "vallenatos" which aught to be legally punished by immediate public execution. I don't hate country music quite as much, but the drawling accent and the subject matter are usually repellent (I genuinely like some bluegrass). I like Johnny Cash too (possibly because I was first exposed to his style through his cover of Trent Reznor's "Hurt", so my brain can connect "Live from Fulsom Prison" directly back to that) so I guess I'm a bit of a hypocrite or akratic about this.
Ezra Klein was also an acquired taste for me (but now I do genuinely enjoy his podcast). Hilarious observation.
Flying (usually) sucks. Airports, crying babies with undeveloped eustachian tubes, the constant reminder of mortality with every shake shake, the subpar food, the cramped seats, the smells that sometimes seep from the lavatory, etc. Never travel in first class, it will make the peasant experience virtually intolerable. Occasionally, I will experience a nice flight on coach because the seat next to mine is empty, the person in front doesn't use the recliner, the cabin is devoid of babies, the lavatory is far, and the pilot isn't in such a hurry to his next scheduled extramarital affair that he flies the airframe through a tumble dry cycle. This has become an exceedingly rare and beloved occurrence.
The best things I have ever acquired a taste for through dedicated effort are:
- running
- diet coke
- oatmeal (I never hated it, but now I can actually enjoy it)
Can I help with the country music entry points?
The best of Patsy Cline and Hank Williams are unimpeachable…
Agreed.
Maybe even more approachable, Emmylou Harris has done crossover country, for instance https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=IettVjxvte4
This reminds me of the core idea of several philosophical and spiritual traditions. If I were to sum it up, it's "your experience depends at least partially on your state of mind, and you can change your state of mind to control your experience."
That may be overly reductionist, and there are clearly many, many ways to approach it. I wonder how much of the appeal of most religions and meditation practices lies in their practical framework for changing one's perspective on and enjoyment of things. For example, to enjoy the process of slowly starving to death while meditating in a Japanese monastery.