Underrated reasons to be thankful V

even more

1. That your dog, while she appears to love you only because she’s been adapted by evolution to appear to love you, really does love you.

2. That if you’re a life form and you cook up a baby and copy your genes to them, you’ll find that the genes have been degraded due to oxidative stress et al., which isn’t cause for celebration, but if you find some other hopefully-hot person and randomly swap in half of their genes, your baby will still be somewhat less fit compared to you and your hopefully-hot friend on average, but now there is variance, so if you cook up several babies, one of them might be as fit or even fitter than you, and that one will likely have more babies than your other babies have, and thus complex life can persist in a universe with increasing entropy.

3. That if we wanted to, we surely could figure out which of the 300-ish strains of rhinovirus are circulating in a given area at a given time and rapidly vaccinate people to stop it and thereby finally “cure” the common cold, and though this is too annoying to pursue right now, it seems like it’s just a matter of time.

4. That if you look back at history, you see that plagues went from Europe to the Americas but not the other way, which suggests that urbanization and travel are great allies for infectious disease, and these both continue today but are held in check by sanitation and vaccines even while we have lots of tricks like UVC light and high-frequency sound and air filtration and waste monitoring and paying people to stay home that we’ve barely even put in play.

5. That while engineered infectious diseases loom ever-larger as a potential very big problem, we also have lots of crazier tricks we could pull out like panopticon viral screening or toilet monitors or daily individualized saliva sampling or engineered microbe-resistant surfaces or even dividing society into cells with rotating interlocks or having people walk around in little personal spacesuits, and while admittedly most of this doesn’t sound awesome, I see no reason this shouldn’t be a battle that we would win.

6. That clean water, unlimited, almost free.

7. That dentistry.

8. That tongues.

9. That radioactive atoms either release a ton of energy but also quickly stop existing—a gram of Rubidium-90 scattered around your kitchen emits as much energy as ~200,000 incandescent lightbulbs but after an hour only 0.000000113g is left—or don’t put out very much energy but keep existing for a long time—a gram of Carbon-14 only puts out the equivalent of 0.0000212 light bulbs but if you start with a gram, you’ll still have 0.999879g after a year—so it isn’t actually that easy to permanently poison the environment with radiation although Cobalt-60 with its medium energy output and medium half-life is unfortunate, medical applications notwithstanding I still wish Cobalt-60 didn’t exist, screw you Cobalt-60.

10. That while curing all cancer would only increase life expectancy by ~3 years and curing all heart disease would only increase life expectancy by ~3 years, and preventing all accidents would only increase life expectancy by ~1.5 years, if we did all of these at the same time and then a lot of other stuff too, eventually the effects would go nonlinear, so trying to cure cancer isn’t actually a waste of time, thankfully.

11. That the peroxisome, while the mitochondria and their stupid Krebs cycle get all the attention, when a fatty-acid that’s too long for them to catabolize comes along, who you gonna call.

12. That we have preferences, that there’s no agreed ordering of how good different things are, which is neat, and not something that would obviously be true for an alien species, and given our limited resources probably makes us happier on net.

13. That cardamom, it is cheap but tastes expensive, if cardamom cost 1000× more, people would brag about how they flew to Sri Lanka so they could taste chai made with fresh cardamom and swear that it changed their whole life.

14. That Gregory of Nyssa, he was right.

15. That Grandma Moses, it’s not too late.

16. That sleep, that probably evolution first made a low-energy mode so we don’t starve so fast and then layered on some maintenance processes, but the effect is that we live in a cycle and when things aren’t going your way it’s comforting that reality doesn’t stretch out before you indefinitely but instead you can look forward to a reset and a pause that’s somehow neither experienced nor skipped.

17. That, glamorous or not, comfortable or not, cheap or not, carbon emitting or not, air travel is very safe.

18. That, for most of the things you’re worried about, the markets are less worried than you and they have the better track record, though not the issue of your mortality.

19. That sexual attraction to romantic love to economic unit to reproduction, it’s a strange bundle, but who are we to argue with success.

20. That every symbolic expression recursively built from differentiable elementary functions has a derivative that can also be written as a recursive combination of elementary functions, although the latter expression may require vastly more terms.

21. That every expression graph built from differentiable elementary functions and producing a scalar output has a gradient that can itself be written as an expression graph, and furthermore that the latter expression graph is always the same size as the first one and is easy to find, and thus that it’s possible to fit very large expression graphs to data.

22. That, eerily, biological life and biological intelligence does not appear to make use of that property of expression graphs.

23. That if you look at something and move your head around, you observe the entire light field, which is a five-dimensional function of three spatial coordinates and two angles, and yet if you do something fancy with lasers, somehow that entire light field can be stored on a single piece of normal two-dimensional film and then replayed later.

24. That, as far as I can tell, the reason five-dimensional light fields can be stored on two-dimensional film simply cannot be explained without quite a lot of wave mechanics, a vivid example of the strangeness of this place and proof that all those physicists with their diffractions and phase conjugations really are up to something.

25. That disposable plastic, littered or not, harmless when consumed as thousands of small particles or not, is popular for a reason.

26. That disposable plastic, when disposed of correctly, is literally carbon sequestration, and that if/when air-derived plastic replaces dead-plankton-derived plastic, this might be incredibly convenient, although it must be said that currently the carbon in disposable plastic only represents a single-digit percentage of total carbon emissions.

27. That rocks can be broken into pieces and then you can’t un-break the pieces but you can check that they came from the same rock, it’s basically cryptography.

28. That the deal society has made is that if you have kids then everyone you encounter is obligated to chip in a bit to assist you, and this seems to mostly work without the need for constant grimy negotiated transactions as Econ 101 would suggest, although the exact contours of this deal seem to be a bit murky.

29. That of all the humans that have ever lived, the majority lived under some kind of autocracy, with the rest distributed among tribal bands, chiefdoms, failed states, and flawed democracies, and only something like 1% enjoyed free elections and the rule of law and civil liberties and minimal corruption, yet we endured and today that number is closer to 10%, and so if you find yourself outside that set, do not lose heart.

30. That if you were in two dimensions and you tried to eat something then maybe your body would split into two pieces since the whole path from mouth to anus would have to be disconnected, so be thankful you’re in three dimensions, although maybe you could have some kind of jigsaw-shaped digestive tract so your two pieces would only jiggle around or maybe you could use the same orifice for both purposes, remember that if you ever find yourself in two dimensions, I guess.

(previously, previously, previously, previously)